KASSADY

So summertime rolls around again and with it the start of the festival season here in the UK.  The first big festival of the year (yes I’m refusing to count the Isle of Wight) kicks off on Friday, on a farm in the little village of Pilton, near Glastonbury.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Glastonbury is the festival to go to, despite the rain, the over priced food and the ebbing away of the hippy ethos of the original gathering.

Its also the hardest to get tickets for.  Im not even joking when I say that you have to provide a passport photo, register your details and then spend hours hitting redial on your phone or refresh on your browser on the day the tickets are released in order to get your grubby little mitts on one before they sell out in the first two hours. 

This year Im one of the unlucky ones.  Im ticketless and destined to spend the coming weekend watching on the TV at home and not in a field in Somerset.  But will I get down about it?  NO WAY!  Instead I have devised a guide to having the full festival experience without actually being there.  Read on………

1.         Pack your stuff:  If youre sensible youll take time over this, consider what you might need and plan for all weather conditions.  If youre me youll take two pairs of jeans, two tshirts and some new trainers.  Then complain when its cold, wet and muddy and you realise you cant get your hands on a pair of wellies for love nor money.

2.         Arrive at site (back garden).  Here, employ your imagination and pretend it has taken hours for you to travel, your car has broken down and you’ve been hopelessly lost due to mad one way system through a bunch of windy country lanes, set up by festival organisers who are quite clearly on acid. 

3.         Erect tent.  It is essential to wait until after dark to do this for reasons explained above.  You are not permitted to use any garden lighting and you may not turn lights on in your house.  Realise when you take the tent from its bag that you put it away wet last time you used it and it smells quite a lot of mold.  Put your tent poles on the ground, lose some, mix the rest up and resolve to make the best out of what you have.  You should end up with a lopsided construction which you will promise to put together properly in daylight (of course this will never happen).

4.         Day one – wander down to the mainstage ( go into your living room and manipulate the position of the TV until you can see it from your position in the garden, open window, turn up sound).  Drink copious amounts of very cheap beer and fall asleep in the sun.  Wake up several hours later with hideous sunburn and an urgent need to use the toilet, dun, dun dun!!!!

            For authentic festival toilets, take bucket, place in shed, omit toilet paper.  It is recommended that torch be used for illumination of toilet at night in order to check that a) its been emptied recently and b) there isn’t a dead person in there.

5.         Day two – wake up to realise its been bucketing down all night (to achieve this effect, set up garden hoses and sprinklers before bedtime and leave on for duration).  Realise that you maybe shouldn’t have been so smug that your tent only cost £7.50.  Genuine wet tent experience requires at least an inch of water on the inside, covering all bedding and clothes.

            Search rucksack for wet weather clothing and wellies.  Become disappointed.  Abandon new trainers in 6 inches of mud and come to terms with liberating feeling of mud between your toes.  Drink much more cheap beer and pass out in a non specific puddle inside your tent.

n.b  It is forbidden for you to cheat, go into your house and extract clean, dry clothing, or anything else at all,  at any point during this ultimate festival experience.

7.         Day three – wake up feeling disoriented.  Exit tent to realise there has been a mudslide and you are currently pitched in a small stream at the bottom of the hill you were once on top of (achieve this by paying parents/children/friends to come by in the night while you are asleep and move you surreptitiously).   Make your way to mainstage (TV) and spend day trying to lift spirits in the face of more rain with the aid of more alcohol and song.  Fail.  Accept the fact that you don’t have it in you to spend even one more minute in your ill equipped hell, cry because you haven’t had a shower for three days and decide to return home even though your going to miss the best bands and everything you really wanted to see because theyre all on in the evening of the third day. 

8.         Arrive home (you may now enter your house). 

Voila!  Have fun.

Ive joined the 30 Book Challenge group and below is a list of books ive completed.  So far its only 1 but i will update as I go along, because I havent planned what Im going to read.

1.  Southern Nights by Barry Gifford - a collection of three novels set in America's deep south. 

2.  Echo Burning by Lee Child - a mystery story set in Texas, to be honest its pap but please dont judge, sometimes i like an easy read.

3.  Brooklyn Noir - a collection of short stories written by authors from or who live in Brooklyn.  I bought it because id already read the San Francisco version, which to be honest i enjoyed more, the writing was more varied.  But still a good book and i will probably look up some of the authors and try out thier novels

I was tagged by liveandlove

1.  Im Sticking With You - The Velvet Underground and Nico

2.  Mollys Chambers - Kings of Leon

3.  Im Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

4.  Cassius - The Foals

5.  Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix

Its no secret that I first came across Buzznet whilst trying to feed my out of control Gerard Way addiction.  I trawled the site for pictures of him, visited the forums to try to catch the latest rumours and indulged my masochistic tendancies by secretly looking at pictures of his alleged girlfriends.  I was seriously in line for the title of world's oldest fangirl :)

I was loyal, I stuck with my obsession through all the ups and downs, the release of a concept album (boys - what were you thinking?), the is he/isnt he engaged/married to her or her or her edrama - Im not one who likes to give up.  Some might say Im hard to get rid of.

But then - the inevitable happened.  Mr Way appeared to develop an ego.  Some will say that this is a natural part of rock star evolution and that it happens to everyone in his position.  Thats fine.  But for me, there is nothing more offputting.  So my obsession slowly began to wane and before I know it, Im only looking at photographs occasionally and I dont visit the forums anymore.

I felt lost - like a boat that comes loose from its moorings - i drifted.  I felt as if my life had no purpose.  But then, three weeks ago, i turned on my TV set at 9.00pm on Friday night and TAH DAH!

God gave me Seth!

Now I get to start a whole new obsession whilst never completely giving up on my old one:

              


   TWINNIES!

And to top it all off, he likes gingers, he does, he even married one

Imagine where my brain is taking this ............. Massive fangirly head explosion - Im happy again!

Im about to find out. 

Im going to have very limited internet access over the next few days.  By limited I mean only at work.  I could make excuses but the fact is that i didnt pay my bill because im very bad and have the brain of a 5 year old. 

Every now and again I will wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and find that I cant switch on a light because the power has been cut off.   Or I put my washing machine on only to hear it fill with air because I forgot to pay the water bill.

Dont feel sorry for me, its not that I dont have the money its just that I forget.  Im not very good at being a grown up.

Anyway, tomorrow and Friday I will have access between 1pm and 5pm GMT  and then at the weekend - nothing, yes thats right - NOTHING.

And I didnt even want to go on a break.  My mind wasnt fizzled by the Buzz, I wasnt sick of looking through everyone else's stuff and Id had a good long chat with myself and decided not to put myself under any pressure to post - so all was good. 

So unless I run into you over the short periods that Im here over the next two days - I'll see you Monday - at some point :) 

Im about to find out. 

Im going to have very limited internet access over the next few days.  By limited I mean only at work.  I could make excuses but the fact is that i didnt pay my bill because im very bad and have the brain of a 5 year old. 

Every now and again I will wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and find that I cant switch on a light because the power has been cut off.   Or I put my washing machine on only to hear it fill with air because I forgot to pay the water bill.

Dont feel sorry for me, its not that I dont have the money its just that I forget.  Im not very good at being a grown up.

Anyway, tomorrow and Friday I will have access between 1pm and 5pm GMT  and then at the weekend - nothing, yes thats right - NOTHING.

And I didnt even want to go on a break.  My mind wasnt fizzled by the Buzz, I wasnt sick of looking through everyone else's stuff and Id had a good long chat with myself and decided not to put myself under any pressure to post - so all was good. 

So unless I run into you over the short periods that Im here over the next two days - I'll see you Monday - at some point :) 

All about me - that's right, ME! Questionaire

OK, Im setting anyone that reads this a challenge.

There are two of us.  We want to find interesting places to visit.  We love the United States but would actually go anywhere.  Neither of us want to visit museums, gardens, castles etc.  We dont mind staying in crumbly hotels with cigarette burns on the bedclothes or having an all inclusive breakfast that consists of a bagel and individual portion of cream cheese.  We loved Berlin and stayed at least a 30 minute ride from the centre and managed to get around despite my very limited German (Potsdam rocked!!)  Great public transport is a must. 

So, we're going away in April, have about £800/$1500 to spend - flights and hotel have to be included in this. Dont send us to a beach, dont send us to a dodgy area that we will get killed in but we dont mind edgy (by that i mean a bit rough but please no gangs and guns).  Travel guides are useless - they tell you not to go anywhere, but you know we can do it.

Leave all suggestions in the comment box, there is no prize for the best suggestion but i will be wishing sparkly unicorns on all of you and the person whose suggestion we pick will be showered with mega lots of pictures and never ending thanks.

Something made me smile today:

My Flickr page is teaching me lolcat!

Ive had a crappy week.  Ive had some sort of horrendous tummy bug or ive poisoned myself by forgetting to clean that rancid bit of cucumber thats been there three years out of the back of my fridge or something. 

I like to eat and I like to drink and I hate not being able to do either because I cant keep anything except water down.  My teeth hurt also and Im sure that the copius amounts of painkillers ive been consuming arent doing anything to ease my stomach cramps.  Bleurgh.

Ive been a bad buzzfriend because Ive been posting and not commenting, forgetting to answer messages and just generally being sucked down into a world of self pity and absorption, which i almost - yes almost - drowned in.

Lucky for me I have a 13 year old daughter with a great big heart and a way of cheering me up I'd die without.  It's Mother's Day here, she's been out with her Dad and just dropped a card in for me.  It looks like this:

Oh yes it does.  And it really is Irish easy listening star Daniel O'Donnell.  For those of you who dont know who he is - imagine David Hasselhoff with an irish brogue singing about green valleys and things.  And here's what happens when I open the card:

Another picture of him yes, but to cap it all off - he speaks!  He's there wishing me a Happy Mothers Day and telling me to take care of myself.  Hahahahahahaha!  Its sooo bad its good.

So now, despite the fact that my son forgot to get me a card at all, that ive had harsh words with members of my family and that I have cried so hard all day even though im not sure why, im smiling now.

I promise to catch up with everyone next week.  Thank you to anyone thats looked at, commented and buzzed my posts, left me notes or little personal messages, sometimes its the small things that keep you going.

*Mwah*

Ooh, almost forgot, Shannon's put together what looks like an awesome mixtape so Im off to download it and sing myself happy!

Inspired by the great Bukowski

How i know im getting old 

I walked more than a mile yesterday and my legs still ache

I have a sudden, surprising but overwhelming attraction to Anthony LaPaglia but only as Jack Malone in Without a Trace and not in any previous incarnation

I have irrational hatred towards people I dont really know and for no good reason.  I used to be tolerant, have middle to left wing political views and work for a charity, now i cant turn the TV on without shouting at it

I listened to a Jack Penate song and I liked it, it didnt cause offence and I thought about buying his album

Im disgusted by Sharon Osbourne and her sorry excuse for a family.  Theyre not cool, theyre not clever and neither are we for embracing a bunch of  loud mouth idiots, that were they poor, we would cross the street to avoid.

Thank you and goodnight

OunceofWentz Tagged Mah Face!

 1. Have you ever felt replaced?
Yes

2. Are you only friends with the rich?
Hahaha!  I dont know any

3.What cellphone do you have?
Nokia N95

5. Last person who called you, and what do you think about him/her?
Josh - I hope he realises that he's better than he thinks he is

6. Last time you shopped at Abercrombie/Hollister ?
Never

What Madness! Another Journal Tag!
 
Tagged by skintight

1. If you could say anything to the person who has hurt you most in life what would you say?
    Say goodbye to your bollocks

2. When will your next kiss be?
   Tonight probably

3. What song are you listening to?
.    I have the TV on in the background, Im about to watch Heartbreak Kid

4. Who does it remind you of?
    Ben Stiller (as he's in it)

5. Last movie you watched? with who?
   La Vie En Rose

6. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
  Sally but shes also my sister so I would say Nat

7. What CD is in your stereo?
   Biffy Clyro - Puzzle

8. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
    No - not since I'd just left school

9 & 10 where are you?

In my living room in England

11. What are you most looking forward to?
     Summer

12. What are your nicknames?
     Becks

13. Describe your dream life:
    Travelling around the world taking pictures, with money no object.  Meeting cool people and learning new things

14. Where would you like to live?
     Potrero Hill in San Francisco

15. Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
     Ages ago

16. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
     When i saw Razorlight live

TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU
1. Are you single?   Oh yes
2. Are you happy?  Getting that way

3. Are you bored? Only boring people get bored (hehehe!  im a parent - forgive me my cliches!)
5. Are you Italian? No
6. Are you pregnant? If I am i dont remember how i got that way - which is disappointing
8. Are you cool? Im a nerd, an old nerd
9. Are you Irish? No
10. Are your parents still married? Yes

TEN LASTS:
1. Last phone call you made: To my sister planning school holiday fun for kids

2. Last phone call you received: Charlie - arguing

3. Last person/people you hung out with? Sally and Claire

5. Last person you tackled?: noone i hate confrontation of the verbal or physical kind

6. Last person you IM'd:  Dont have any sort of IM

7. Last text message you received: It was something along the lines of ' Happy retards day, ' im sending this text to someon i consider special...blah blah

8. Last person you hugged?: Tahnee

9. Last person you hated?:  My sisters ex - ii hate him for her
10. Last person you laughed with?:  Sally and Evan and Josh

CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED

helen's EXTREME survey

                                  
You know these surveys:
What are you wearing? Everyone is always wearing sweats or pj’s. I have yet to read that someone is wearing a tutu and scuba gear.
Do you like dogs or cats?  yawn.

Here are some questions I would LOVE to see your answers to:

 
1.  Q: Who’s scarier: a) Ronald McDonald  b)Burger King King  c)other mascot (name)
     A:  Most definitely Ronald.  He gives ginger's a bad name!

 

2.  Q: What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done or that has happened to you?
     A: I might once have wet myself in the cinema whilst watching Brokeback Mountain, or i might not

 

3.  Q: Have you ever intentionally stolen anything bigger than a pack of gum? If so, what?
     A:  When i was a little kid i was a kleptomaniac and would take anything that wasnt nailed down. 

4.  Q: Describe an unusual family tradition you had when you were a kid or one you have now.
     A:  Now, we go to music festivals for our holidays

 

5.  Q: What happens to us after we die?
     A: We rot 

 

6.  Q: Did you ever have a crush on any of your teachers? Describe.
     A:  I was in love with my english teacher, until i realised he might love me back - that freaked me out a bit

 

7.  Q: Define “osculate.”
     A: I like to do this the french way

 

8.  Q: If you were eating your last Godiva truffle and dropped it on a New York City street, would you pick it up, wipe it off  and eat it?
     A: No im not a massive chocolate lover

 

9.  Q: Which American president would you like or have liked to have an affair with?
     A: Kennedy without a doubt.  mmmm

 

10.  Q: What is the soul?
     A: I dont beileve in all that spiritual stuff

AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO IT!

Dear Bree

helen099 asked me to tell about the concert.  It was amazing.  Id walked around London all day and then had to stand amongst many, many teenage girls for 3 hours whilst Paramore and support did their sets. 

 I didnt know what to expect really, obviously Ive heard both albums but Ive read so much about them on this site that I didnt know whether to believe the hype or not.  I neednt have worried.  Hayley has it all - stage presence, voice and X factor. 

It didnt matter that most people there were considerably younger than me (nobody mistook me for someone else's mum) or that my feet hurt and I couldnt get to the bar.  The time flew.  Anyone lucky enough to get a ticket - take advantage. 

The photos above are mine, taken on my cell phone.  Obviously not of the standard of unsceneunheard who you should all check out too.

Biffy Clyro tomorrow.  Excited!

Following on from newageamazon’s post imploring you to join the word nerds and expand your vocabulary,  we keep our side of the bargain by introducing you to today’s word:

Skulduggery

To say out loud:  Skull-DUG-uh-ree

Meaning:  underhanded or unscrupulous behaviour. Also: a devious device or trick

Example:

Hayden Panettiere fell victim to Ashton Kutcher’s skulduggery in a recent episode of Punk’d.

It’s that horrible time of year when Christmas is over and the celebrations of New Year have passed (along with my birthday – damn my parents and their spring time fornicating!).  The sky is grey, the air is cold and there’s nothing to look forward to for a whole other year. 

Im not a total misery but I struggle with winter and Im not like Buzznet’s very own ray of sunshine ounceofwentz, I don’t have a naturally sunny disposition.  I tend to shut down, close myself off from my friends and retreat to webland. 

So when you’re feeling flat, your inspiration has gone and spring is still a long way off how do you remedy the situation?  I don’t want to give in to lethargy or surrender to melancholia but what’s a girl to do?

Answer:-

Fill the forthcoming week with fun and frolics courtesy of one very lovely sister.

The merriment kicks off tomorrow night with a trip to London’s west end, my grubby little mitts holding tightly on to tickets for Hairspray the musical.  I could tell you how excited I am but you wouldn’t believe me.  Im taking my phone which has a handy little camera on it so im hoping to get a few good night time shots of our sleazy capital while im there – yippee!

Saturday night it’s back to London again and the splendour that is Brixton Academy to see much hyped Buzznet favourites Paramore. I haven’t seen a live band since August last year so this little trip is long overdue.  Ive never seen Paramore before and im nervous.  Will they be as good as I hope?  Have they sold out and gone mainstream and does it really matter?  Will I be the oldest person there by 20 years and be mistaken for someone’s mum?  (quite possibly this will happen).  Again I will be taking my handy phone cam but because of a phobia of crowds and moshpits that was developed a few years ago when I was knocked backwards onto the floor at a gig, I will be standing very near the back and taking slightly blurry shots featuring (mostly) tall people’s heads.

It’s a trip up the M1 next Thursday for my final outing and Im rounding off the week in style with a visit to Leicester Uni Students Union to see the rock gods from Scotland that are Biffy Clyro.  By this time I may have worked up enough courage to get a bit nearer the front hence the chance of snapping some slightly less blurry more relevant photos may increase.  There is a marginally higher chance that we will be lost in the maze that is Leicester city centre and never be seen again.  A chance I’m happy to take for one night with the Neil.

I’ll update as and when the photos are ready but im convinced Ive found the receipe for eradicating the despair.  Thanks sis!

How did you vote in my polls last year?  Want to know the outcome?   Hold on to your seats round one out of the way round two – here we go!!

OK – this was a biggie and I knew that there would be some passionate answers about this one – My Chemical Romance and their alternative careers.  Strangely,  Mikey doesn’t seem to have a future as an urban poet in your minds.  You somehow can’t see him standing at speaker’s corner spouting forth on the complexities of self.  However, you all seem to think that Frank will leave MCR and start a Pizza restaurant – I have my order for medium Hawaiian at the ready J

Changing tack completely I asked where you stand on the fat/skinny debate.  Finally, along comes a woman that swims against the tide in the form of Beth Ditto from the Gossip.  You were sensible enough to vote that she’s big and she’s happy and you love her - that’s what counts. 

A controversial one next.  What makes a good Buzznetter?  What keeps you coming back for more?  No surprise that lots of you come here to check out the music communities and pictures of your favourite bands – anyone who does this can count themselves amongst the highest percentage.  Scenesters score second highest and sadly (in my eyes) original content limps in third. 

Bringing things a bit more up to date I asked whether age was an outdated concept when it came to glamour.  Surprisingly (considering the average age of you - the voting public) – most of you were happy to go with the fact that older people can look great but drew the line at seeing Madonna all but flash her ladygarden in THAT lycra leotard.

When asked if you were scared that Amy Winehouse would set her hubby on you if you booed her – you actually couldn’t care less.  Either Amy has run out of sympathy or you never had any for her in the first place.

You all lost my love a little bit by suggesting that Gerard Way could behave as badly as he wanted with his fans if he was tired.  Apparently there is minimum disappointment for the man who blows smoke in fans faces….

You won my love back by voting in your droves about your favourite retro band.  You made me feel old by classing them as retro but I can’t deny that Nirvana are as close to my heart as you can get without it being weird.  Queen came in a tight second. Call me cynical but I see a link here between rock god Freddie and his crew and  MCR’s high profile love of this band.  Or maybe im just bitter that the Cure didn’t score higher?

A taste of what’s to come?  Ridiculous celebrity predictions 2008 have you guessing that Paris will get a job – now Ive heard it all.

Thanks to everyone that voted, commented and just thought about this stuff a little more than they would have done.  Have a zinging 2008!

Unless you live under a rock, you will know that the first stage in the election of a new President in the United States has begun.

As outsiders looking in, we rest-of-the-worlders naturally have some slight concerns about who is likely to succeed the great George W Fustercluck and become the most powerful leader on the planet.  (I realise that it’s also a time of racing hearts and high blood pressure for most Americans too – but at least you have a say in the matter, allegedly). Control – where are you when I need you most?

In the headlines at the moment – it’s all about the battle of the Democrats.  Obama vs. Clinton – will the US have its first black or first female President?  The Republican candidates are so grey and boring that I’d have to look up their names to mention them and frankly – I can’t be bothered.

Anyway, it came to mind that after 4 years of rollercoaster rides with your outgoing leader; frankly all of the new pretenders may be a bit on the staid side.  That walking out the door with Bush would be a sense of danger, anticipation and expectation that we’ve become used to over time.  The feeling of suspense will disappear – the time for collective holding of breath and crossing of fingers will pass.  We might even miss it.

But fear not!  Ive had my thinking cap on and after much conjugation (and a little internet searching) have unearthed from world politics and royalty, an alternative set of nominees to stand for US President.  And these guys could never be called dull.

Ok, lets kick things off with dream contender number one; French President Nicolas Sarkozy.  His hardline politics have shocked some but that’s not what this list is all about.  Google his name and you’ll find him all over the internet – involved in one scandal or another.  Video footage of him drunk at the G8 summit clogs up Youtube.  And if you’re looking for celebrity style Presidents – he’s your man.  He allegedly had photographs of him in upper class mag Paris Match airbrushed – so that his love handles were invisible.  He left his wife and has taken up with former supermodel and girlfriend of Eric Clapton and Mick Jagger, Carla Bruni and to top it all off his son Pierre has just been outed as a hip hop producer.  You couldn’t write this stuff, hey?

Fantasy candidate number two and one that is close to my heart:  Britain’s very own Prince Harry.  And what’s Harry got that makes him so special you ask?  The answer:  attitude.  For most people, living in the shadow of a brother who is more charming, charismatic, better looking and on top of that heir to the throne, would be too much.  Not for Harry this defeatist attitude.  He looks on the bright side.  He knows he’ll never be important and so he throws caution to the wind and does what he likes.  While his brother worked his way quietly through university and officer training school all the while staying faithful to one girl, Harry’s been entertaining the media by dressing up as a Nazi, partying with barmaids and remaining suspiciously tight-lipped regarding rumours of cannabis use.  Oh, go on, you know you want him.

We all have days when we wake up, sigh, and wish we could hide under the covers.  When optimism leaves us and we just can’t find the sunshine anymore.  Luckily, there does exist an antidote to these moods that doesn’t come in the form of pharmaceuticals.  Say hello to potential President number three: Ban Ki-Moon.   Secretary General of the United Nations, this diminutive little guy is a ray of light in our dark world.  Upbeat, perky and full of life who could fail to love someone that sings his way into office with his adapted version of Santa Claus is coming to town:

Im making a list

Im checking it twice

Ive got to find out who’s naughty or nice

Ban Ki- Moon is coming to town

Oh yes he did.

My final suggestion for Presidential candidate comes in the form of a native of the USA.  Someone who could bring comedy to your life if you happen to like watching the hypocritical squirm.  He has all the credentials needed to apply for the job and is already in the political arena.  It’s my pleasure to introduce you to/remind you of the wonder that is Senator Larry Craig.  This conservative Republican senator’s publicity office denied internet allegations that he was gay stating that the charge was ‘completely ridiculous ‘and had ‘no basis in fact’.  Strange then that he was caught cruising men’s bathrooms looking for sex.  His excuse for sliding his hand under the toilet divide in an attempt to grope an undercover cop?  He’d dropped his toilet paper on the floor and was attempting to retrieve it.  With the ability to fabricate excuses of that calibre – imagine the fun to be had.

So, there you go just a few little suggestions to put the cat amongst the pigeons and brighten your day.  And remember – be careful what you wish for!